A Thin Line

My Love,

I’ve always thought there was a very fine line between loving someone and hating them. That it takes as much time and energy to do one as it does to do the other.. Yesterday I thought I might have found that line.. Today I know I did.

Right now, in this moment, exactly a month ago, you woke me up and held our daughter while you told me to leave. You said our marriage was over and I don’t have a choice and to figure it out.

And for what?

Because I wanted to have friends… I haven’t been “allowed” to have friends in a couple of years now and so I lied about it…

I’m a liar. What can I say? I guess you’ve definitely got me on that one. But its like you said, everybody needs friends. Right? So why is it that I “have a journal, and that should be enough”?

How is that even fair? The easy answer is that its not. It’s not fair at all.

The fuzzy, almost-complicated answer is that I wouldn’t have really truly needed friends if I’d just had you. Because isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be about? You stood up in front of God and all His people and swore an oath to be my Person. In every way. You freaking promised.

It took you what? 6 years?

But I’m the liar.

Right.

– A