There are far better days ahead than those we leave behind us. – C. S. Lewis
* * * *
In recent months, after a couple of really long years – years spent being summarily dismissed and ignored – I have come to the conclusion that it is absolutely possible to love another person without liking them even a little..
This, as a whole, makes horribly sad on so many levels that it’s almost indescribable. As I’ve heard it said, I can’t believe my knight in shining armor turned out to be such an asshole.. No, the saying actually refers to a retard in tin foil, but you get my drift..
I mean, what the Hell happened? Where did he go to, and Please Lord, WHY??
Did I do something wrong? Because , well, not to be super obvious, but if he’d just freaking tell me, then I’d know..
It’s like I’ve dropped the proverbial ball and now I’m being punished for some bad decision I can’t remember making somewhere down the line. How am I supposed to fix that? Ummmmm…. I’m not.
But I would if I could..
Sadly, I must be a glutton for punishment ’cause I’m still here.
✨”So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.” — Stephen Chbosky✨
I think I’m broken.
Like an un-played-with doll
that sits pretty on a shelf collecting dust,
I’ve gotten old before my time and gone to waste..
The Weekly Photo Challenge has been one of the things I’ve enjoyed the most from The Daily Post’ s blog here on WordPress. Finding the prompts the fit my life or my mood in that moment can be an interesting way to look back on things…
From a perfect sky on a perfect day to take a drive,
To what it might look like to take a long walk of a short bridge,
Or maybe spend a day playing hooky with my girls..
Looking at life through the lens of a camera has been a pleasure.
I think im disappearing, just a little at a time.. I don’t think they’ll even notice when it happens and I’m finally gone.. when i finally get the Hell out of this God forsaken place.. I’ve been in limbo for so long now that it’s almost second nature to just shut my mouth and take it as it comes. I’m so insanely unhappy with the way things are sometimes that every day the sun comes up in cloudy skies..
I don’t get it..
I simply don’t understand.. the way we love these days is NOT the way we do things and i hate it. What I see when I step back and try to see things from a new angle can be so distracting sometimes and I hate that. What we’ve managed to become these past few years makes me so unbelievably sad that I can’t stand it anymore..
Maybe I’m stuck. .
Maybe I got myself in over my head and I can’t fix it with a kiss the way I used to….
Tomorrow is Monday. Usually my favorite day of the week, this one happens to be slated for a full day of chores. (WTF Monday? You coulda warned me.. 😒)
It has come to my attention that we’ve less than a full pack of pull-ups left here in the house, and I don’t have a clue where to buy them.. They were being delivered once a month by some place out in Pearl but they stopped for no reason sometime earlier last year. When I called (and I’ve called like six times – seriously) I’m told we need an updated prescription and that they’ll fax a request over to her doctor. Well after waiting a few months and getting nothing i went to the pediatrician and asked her what to do. So she finds the website and prints out the forms and then sits down with me and fills them out. I can only assume she faxed them in as I have yet to hear back about anything.
Its SO frustrating. If I were a toddler I might throw a tantrum. Hell, I might throw onevanyway..