DISCLAIMER : I guess you could say I’ve been going through some personal stuff. These letters are simply my way of releasing my angst out into the universe. If you have any insight or wisdom you think might help me work things out, keep it. I’m not looking..
It’s October already.. Holy cow.. Its pretty crazy to think we actually made it another year.. (Although I’d say that “making it” would be a pretty strong term for what we’ve done) Its discouraging, the way things have changed between us. I wish there was some way we could go back to where we were, but we just can’t. Too much water under the bridge, I guess..
It’s sad, really, to know that when I look back over my life, the years I’ve spent here with you have been the very best that I’ve had.
You make me better in so many ways, in all the ways that really count. You gave me confidence and showed me how to change. Whether you think so it not, I have been happy with you, and I was so sure I’d be again, but at what cost?
You’re so close to miserable, baby, and that isn’t what I want. I never dreamed that things would ever get this bad.. Yet here we are, and I can’t fix it, I don’t know where I would start or if it’s possible at this point in our lives. You’ve shut me out and so I’ve done the same, but I still couldn’t tell you why things changed.
There’s so much blame, and I don’t remember anymore..
Why you’re silent. Why I’m angry. Why we’ve built up these walls that we can’t see around – not even to search for the truth..
I know I’m lonely inside. I know it feels like I’ve been letting you down. I know I miss the way it was when we met.
I know I wouldn’t take back a single solitary moment of us… ‘Cause we’re amazing when we want to be.
And we always wanted to be..